Each grief has its unique side.
Choose the one that appeals to you.
Your body needs energy to repair the amputation.
Humor phantom pain.
Your brain cells are soaked with salt;
connections fail unexpectedly and often.
Ask for help.
Read your grief like the daily newspaper:
headlines may have information you need.
Scream. Drop-kick the garbage can across the street.
Don't feel guilty if you have a good time.
Don't act as if you haven't been hit by a Mack Truck.
Do things a little differently
but don't make a lot of changes.
Revel in contradiction.
Talk to the person who died.
Give her a piece of your mind.
Try to touch someone at least once a day.
Approach grief with determination.
Pretend the finish line doesn't keep receding.
Lean into pain.
You can't outrun it.
by Deborah A. Miranda, a Native American writer and poet. She is currently Assistant Professor of English at the Washington and Lee University, where she teaches Creative Writing (poetry), Native American Literature, Women's Literature, Poetry as Literature, and composition.
La Llorona ("The Weeping Woman") is a widespread legend in Mexico, the American Southwest, Puerto Rico and Central America. The story tells of a beautiful woman by the name of Maria killing her children by drowning them, in order to be with the man she loved. When the man rejects her, she kills herself. Challenged at the gates of heaven as to the whereabouts of her children, she is not permitted to enter the afterlife until she has found them. Maria is forced to wander the Earth for all eternity, searching in vain for her drowned offspring, with her constant weeping giving her the name of "La Llorona".